If you’ve ever watched your child comfort a friend, share without being asked, or pause to check on someone who’s upset, you know how sweet and natural compassion can be. But you also know it doesn’t always come easily. 

I’ve found that one of the simplest ways to grow compassion in our kids is by helping them slow down and notice others. Not by lecturing or correcting every moment, but by getting curious together. When we ask thoughtful questions, we’re showing them how to look a little deeper, to wonder what someone else might be feeling, and to respond with care.

Here are 31 easy, everyday questions you can weave into your daily conversations to help your child build compassion, one small moment at a time.

Questions to Help Kids Notice Others

1. How do you think they felt when that happened?
2. What do you notice about how they might be feeling?
3. Why do you think they might feel that way?
4. Have you ever felt that way before?
5. What do you think made their day harder today?
6. What do you think they need right now?
7. Who might need a little extra kindness today?
8. How can you tell when someone is having a hard time?

Questions to Help Kids Practice Empathy

9. What would it feel like to be in their shoes?
10. What would help you feel better if you felt like that?
11. What would you want a friend to do for you in that moment?
12. Why is it important to notice how others are feeling?
13. How can asking questions help you understand someone better?
14. What can we learn when we try to understand someone’s feelings?
15. Why is listening such an important part of caring for others?
16. How can we be gentle with other people’s feelings?

Questions to Encourage Kind Action

17. What’s something kind you could do for them?
18. How can we help someone who looks sad or left out?
19. What can you do if someone feels left out?
20. How can you be a helper today?
21. What’s one small way you can be kind today?
22. How can you show care without using words?
23. What could you say to help someone feel better?
24. How can we make sure everyone feels included?

Questions to Build a Compassionate Heart

25. What makes people feel loved and safe?
26. How can you be patient with someone who is upset?
27. Why is it important to be kind even when it’s hard?
28. What does compassion mean to you?
29. What does kindness look like in this situation?
30. What kind of friend do you want to be?
31. How do you want others to feel when they are with you?

The goal isn’t to ask all 31 questions in one day or to get the “perfect” answer. Some days your child will shrug, some days they’ll surprise you, and most days it will be somewhere in between. What matters is that you’re creating space for these conversations to happen.

Over time, those small moments add up. You’ll start to see them pause, notice, and respond with a little more care on their own. And that’s really what we’re after. Not perfection, just kids who are learning, little by little, how to move through the world with open eyes and kind hearts.